[Aoyagi S.]

Собственно нам задали задание по литературе. Написать рассказ на основе или поверх какого-нибудь из произведений, что мы читали на лекциях. Я выбрала Эдгара Аллана По и его рассказ "Маска красной смерти". И вот что получилось, полу-ориджинал, немного Мэлло и много английского.
У кого есть желание - оцените плиз. Идею. Потому как на предмет ошибок я проверять буду только вечером\)

The Image of Seven Sins

On top of Edgar Allan Poe “The Mask of the Red Death”.

The Image of Seven Sins

The “Seven Sins” invaded the whole world. Sins spread their shadows everywhere, leaved in every house their hideous evil roots. There was no day without them taking somebody soul and body away. The deathbed voice of a man became their symbol and the agony in it – people’s horror. They were just seven nightmares: the dreadful Death, the blind Pain, the fickle Destruction, the incurable Disease, the congenial Misfortune, the sudden Heart Attack and the insane Zero. People who lost their power and will for living at once became sins targets.
But one golden-haired boy was untouchable in this world. His mind was so quick and rational that sins did not manage him to make a mistake and fall in their arms. This boy understood that even small error can bring him to the sins, so he was always eating chocolate to stimulate his brain to think as promptly as possible. However, one day he had no mo money to pay for the chocolate and he became too afraid of losing his precious control. He was afraid to be captured by seven sins. When all his chocolate stores became empty he closed all heavy doors in his house and put stout curtains on all the large windows. He went in the small room right in the center of the house with no things inside except the dusty bed, small TV, some food, broken mirror and huge granary lock on the door. He did not care about others; they somehow can take care about themselves. Boy had just put himself in the cage with no other things than small pleasures and no danger at all. Because nobody can open it from the outside, only the golden-haired boy has a key for the lock.
It was almost six month from the day when boy locked himself into that room when the TV programs became unpleasant and unsatisfying for him. He did nothing else but watched some stupid programs or ate. He became lazy and relaxed because he knew that he can celebrate forever – the seven sins cannot break through the locked door. He even stopped to getting up from the bed at some moment. The giant shadow of apathy lay upon his shoulders and was growing bigger and bigger with every day. Boy’s mind was still working as a clock but with time passed the hours became larger, his actions smaller and he forgot that even in the most accurate watch you need to change battery from time to time. In six month he forgot about chocolate, he did not need to stimulate his thinking anymore.
With years passing the room became dusty and gloomy. The walls were covered in cobweb and the glass of the broken mirror became started to be the same ashen gray color as dusty wall’s stucco. TV set remained switched on the whole day now and every dot in the room was covered with trash. The boy never cleaned his own place because he did not want to go outside in the first place. Later he forgot his motivation but never questioned himself why he is in the room without windows and exit. His mind was so relaxed that he even forgot how to think properly in this dark atmosphere of his small living place. He had no need for thinking – everything was exactly the same as it was on the previous day. Everything was safe. The boy only switched TV channels; put his long pale hand down near the bed to take some food. Mostly he was just lying in bed and looking on the ceiling, thinking of nothing or sleeping.
His life was monotonous and routine. Only once he felt the need to stand up from the bed – there was no food remained near it, all his sources were in the corner of the dusty room. The boy stood up – heavily and slowly. He did not think about being careful at all, what possibly could happen in this small safe cage he created for himself? He moved towards the corner lingeringly and faintly. He looked only before him and never checked what is going on under his feet. He did not check even the big mound of trash under his foot and did not realized till the last moment that something slithery underneath was making him to fall down.
The boy fell. He collapsed heedlessly; hit his temple by the dusty piece of glass that stacked out of mirror. He felt nothing in the beginning but with falling down the boy accidently looked in the mirror where was no reflection of himself, only seven images of sins stared at him through the veil of cinder. He fell and felt immediately the hand of the blind Pain over his head. He wanted to scream but his relaxed consciousness forgot how to do it. He only opened his mouth widely in the dumb shout and another hand – this time covered in blood – clenched his heart. The boy boggled for the last time under the pressure of the sudden Heart Attack and fainted forever. The last thing he saw was the face of the dreadful Death going to give him his poison kiss.
There was nobody to acknowledge the presence of Seven Sins in that small room anymore. They did come like shadows of night and sneaked inside through the mirror. Only figure of boy on the floor in the silent despair remained about Seven Sins dominion over whole world.

@темы: Креатив

Comments

[Ryu-O]

Вау.. Меня, собственно, проняло.. Особенно как описан мальчик ДО и ПОСЛЕ.
Браво-браво, очень инетересно. По крайней мере мне было интересно.
/преподы обычно отличаются иным мышлением, нежели студенты))/

[Aoyagi S.]

Ryu-O
домо)

[Fai-san]

Ой, а можно я сразу скажу? Во втором предложении не leaved, а left.
He even stopped to getting up from the bed at some moment.
the glass of the broken mirror became started to be the same ashen gray color as dusty wall’s stucco.
Или
the glass of the broken mirror became started to be the same ashen gray color as dusty wall’s stucco.
did not realized that something slithery underneath was making him to fall down till the last moment.
In the beginning he felt nothing
The last thing he saw was the face of the dreadful Death going to give him its poison kiss.
Only figure of boy on the floor in the silent despair remained about Seven Sins dominion over whole world. Может, тут не remained, а reminded?
Я облегчил тебе работу! ))
А вообще, мне очень-очень понравилось! Просто красота! И Маска Красной Сметри - одно из моих любимых произведений По )
Ты молодец! Честно-честно )) Я бы так никогда не смог, потому что идиот xD

[Aoyagi S.]

Fai-san
аааа, совесть, пасиба!!!!! *довольно мрчит*
а то я просто пишу, не смотря толком на грамматику\)))
^_^

[Fai-san]

MAD_COWL
Незачто ^^
Я очень рад, что тебя это не задело )) А то знаешь, как бывает. Хочешь как лучше, а получается как всегда ^^

[Aoyagi S.]

Fai-san
какое задело, все норм) Тем более, что в большинстве ошибки глупые) Я только с тем, что смерть неодушевленная не согласна. Потому как в англ. языке смерть - он) Это не по Пратчетту, это нам наш профессор говорил)
А в остальном замечания правильные, критику всегда приветствую)

[Fai-san]

MAD_COWL
А, ну я хз )) Я думал по логике это it ^^ Но наверное профессор знает лучше меня ^^

[Aoyagi S.]

Fai-san
а это тоже спорно кстати) У американцев и англичан все-таки язык различается, как небо и земля. Литератор наш - американец, так что просто надо под него подстраиваться)

[Fai-san]

MAD_COWL
Ну понятно ))
Эх, мне б кто инглиш нормально преподавал... Всю жизнь на курсы хожу, ибо в школе был полный бред.

[Aoyagi S.]

Fai-san
у нас учеба на английском, я будучи в школе тоже по курсам только)

[Fai-san]

MAD_COWL
Классно )) Я тоже так хочу ^^